Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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