Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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