Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
