When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
