Need sex. Gaining weight.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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