I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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