wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize