Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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