It's Friday. Sex?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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