I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
