Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
