Your face is a jimmy john
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
