Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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