I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
