I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
