All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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