She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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