I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm too high and old for this...
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