Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
