Having a random hookup so left but love u
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
