Your face is a jimmy john
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize