I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
