I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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