Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Randomize
