She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
