Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
