I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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