Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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