Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
