Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
