thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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