WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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