His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
