Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
