Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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