My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
