And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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