My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
