Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I am available for nakedness
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
