He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
