I wanna bring you to show and tell
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
