i just identified you from a description of your pipe
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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