the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
