I think I am morally bankrupt
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
