If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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