look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
