i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
