Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
