I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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