I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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