i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
