Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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