so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Life is so much better after having sex.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You need a sexual gate keeper
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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