Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
