His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
