Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It's Friday. Sex?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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