do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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