That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
