I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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