Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
