STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
