he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
