I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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